Why Am I Not 'Feeling' Creative?

With so much time on the horizon a few months ago as we collectively reassembled our daily lives into the confines of our homes, many of us conjured up fantasies of completing long lost projects, learning new languages or how to play a musical instrument, leisurely reading books bought on impulse or simply just finding something novel to do in the days that lay ahead. At the outset, we were all, as human beings, responding to a critical situation that induced chemicals in our brains that make us feel energized, like a manic episode, that is part of our instinctual survival mechanisms. On social media, we witnessed the beauty of artists unfolding their magic in the quarantines of Italy, we heard the voices of the Parisians cheer out of their balcony windows into the ether, we relaxed with our late night hosts from their homes to our homes. We were all trying to make the best, or to make something, out of the dire situation we faced. Some would also say that they needed something to hold in their mind, to bring them some sense of routine, so baking bread and fantastic meals, providing nurturance for oneself and each other, with whom we dwelled with. Activities and projects to keep our minds alive and well. This was all necessary, or essential, and for many that time has passed. And now, what is thought of in psychoanalysis, coined by Melanie Klein, as the depressive position, is what many of us are now enduring. A restlessness, lethargy and realization that what was novel is now normal, so to speak, or more importantly, reality. We most likely will not return to a state of mind and being that we all once knew and of course, took for granted. Not unlike a baby in utero, in the safe confines of the uterus, protected, fed on demand, was also taken for granted because that is what the baby’s reality was. Once borne, the baby is fierce with frustration that what life was like is no longer. Being outside is worse than being inside for the baby. For us, being inside is worse than being free and outside, because we have come to know that as reality. These are not easily understood or metabolized constructs. As humans, we want what we want when we want it and being held to standards with restrictions and uncertainty as the underbelly of these new normals does not sit well and it makes us angry, resentful and melancholy. These emotional waves capsize our creative impulses and can slightly paralyze our nervous systems to the point where reading, writing and artistic endeavors seem unimaginable and quite honestly, unappealing. Melancholy is the right feeling to be having in this moment. The pressure to produce may still reside in your mind, nagging at you to use your time wisely, and wrestling with that nagging voice may cause more harm than good. Aligning with melancholy may be the path of least resistance and the path to rekindling your creative intuition.